Addicted to Losing Weight

Stephanie had lost her weight easily during our fist three months together and loved her new relationship with food and her new body. In the past month however, she had had episodes of uncontrollable eating that alarmed her as she thought she was through with that faze of her life. Indeed, she had done some profound healing work and there just weren’t many eating issues left.

I asked her what she thought it was about. She had been trying to figure this out, and just didn’t understand it. So I asked her to step into “the you who is relaxed around food and has a healthy lifestyle”. As soon as she stepped in, she knew that all of her wanted this. It now felt familiar, because she had lived it for six months, and there was no fear or objection at all.

So what was going on? I asked her to turn around and look at the Stephanie who had walked into my office a few moments ago, who was still in the problem. “what is keeping her there?”

A spark of realization spread across her face. It’s the success of losing weight. Part of me loves the feeling of accomplishment and the high that accompanies freshly lost weight. Friends congratulate me, I feel like I have a new body, and I feel great. It’s a high.

Stephanie realized that although she hated what she had to go though to get overweight, and she was miserable in it, she had become addicted to the macro cycle of losing and gaining weight. After all, she had been repeating this cycle since she was 15! Homeostasis strikes again!

So what’s the solution? I asked, and again, she was at a loss. So I put down a marker on the floor to indicate the present problem, and asked her to step into it and fully access the problem.

I then asked her to take a step back from the problem, and look at the Stephanie who was still in the problem. “What did she know here, one step removed, that she couldn’t have known back when she was in it?”

“That its not about the food”. I asked her to take another step back, and asked her what she knew here, that she couldn’t have known a moment ago, now two steps removed from the problem.

That food is important, but it doesn’t have to be this way.

And on we went, to 10 steps removed from the problem. Along the way, she realized with absolute certainty that she could do it, and that she could set other challenges for herself, rather than losing weight. For example, she could try preparing new vegetables, or she could set herself a fitness goal, or study something new . There were plenty of challenges in life just waiting for her, and she didn’t have to be stuck in the old weight challenge any more. She could graduate!

She also realized that there was a wonderful calm and deep happiness that resulted from having a consistently healthy lifestyle, over the years. She could feel what it was like to have been slim for years, and her body liked it. She felt very comfortable and natural this way, even though it was a change from her earlier life.

Stephanie left feeling again in control, and realizing that being slim and healthy were nothing more that making good choices, one moment at a time.